You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
