It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
