For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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