I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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