Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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