At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
