is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
