I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
