I cannot find my penis.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
