lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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