Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize