It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
