Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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