he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
