I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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