i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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