That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
my liver is dry heaving
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
