This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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