So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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