In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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