think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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