I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
