Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
