Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
