it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Who died my cat blue again?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
