you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I wish there were birth control emojis
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
