Farmville is her only friend.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
