i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
