I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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