I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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