Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
