Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
