I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
