I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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