my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
