How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
