I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
