things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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