Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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