Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
