I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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