i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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