I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
