the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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