Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
