What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
