Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
not ubering you a puppy
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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