Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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