no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
