I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Maybe he injected his testicle?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
