They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
