think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
They have beer where we have blood.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize