Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  Please tell me how you discovered this.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I was looking in the mirror snooping around

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  (440): I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora (1-440): Please tell me how you discovered this. (440): I was looking in the mirror snooping around<p></p> http://tfl.nu/7aua
  Replies (14) Good night (1663) Bad night (635)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.

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  (480): So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction. http://tfl.nu/bt6f
  Replies (54) Good night (719) Bad night (4298)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.

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  (337): I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel. http://tfl.nu/jndo
  Replies (56) Good night (8357) Bad night (939)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  don't worry... so do I

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  (773): it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man" (708) I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights. (773) don't worry... so do I http://tfl.nu/9jx5
  Replies (24) Good night (645) Bad night (3985)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.

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  (785): Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face. http://tfl.nu/ktzo
  Replies (26) Good night (3825) Bad night (887)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops

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  (701): There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops http://tfl.nu/5t7t
  Replies (29) Good night (7999) Bad night (846)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it

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  (917): Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it http://tfl.nu/sdds
  Replies (14) Good night (5698) Bad night (955)
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  (805): View more from California

  Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?

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  (805): Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...? http://tfl.nu/0j4d
  Replies (20) Good night (3344) Bad night (2258)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.

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  (970): in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door. http://tfl.nu/9co9
  Replies (8) Good night (3375) Bad night (785)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything

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  (608): I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything http://tfl.nu/ll8l
  Replies (6) Good night (540) Bad night (1896)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!

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  (708): That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed! http://tfl.nu/bhfj
  Replies (5) Good night (1802) Bad night (590)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.

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  (785): The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked. http://tfl.nu/4i2t
  Replies (6) Good night (1711) Bad night (484)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.

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  (434): This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair. http://tfl.nu/7doa
  Replies (4) Good night (316) Bad night (945)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol

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  (317): Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol http://tfl.nu/rsq8
  Replies (8) Good night (939) Bad night (279)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level

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  (508): New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level http://tfl.nu/zu28
  Replies (5) Good night (332) Bad night (609)

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