we're blogging at a bar
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...