I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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