Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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