Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family