somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms