Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Tell her she can't have a vagina

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  (517): Tell her she can't have a vagina http://tfl.nu/krch
  Replies (3) Good night (947) Bad night (720)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The responsible thing...show them the break room.

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  (314): I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do? (505): The responsible thing...show them the break room. http://tfl.nu/55u1
  Replies (25) Good night (4287) Bad night (1036)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated

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  (859): I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated http://tfl.nu/4ho0
  Replies (38) Good night (4372) Bad night (1329)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car

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  (803): just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car http://tfl.nu/l192
  Replies (191) Good night (16343) Bad night (2546)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?

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  (251): if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me? http://tfl.nu/7eei
  Replies (26) Good night (7020) Bad night (866)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar

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  (419): I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar http://tfl.nu/rxog
  Replies (10) Good night (1065) Bad night (4055)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.

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  (985): Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man. http://tfl.nu/y0hn
  Replies (16) Good night (954) Bad night (5817)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.

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  (513): We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking. http://tfl.nu/l4c2
  Replies (16) Good night (1428) Bad night (4771)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom

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  (860): i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom http://tfl.nu/gild
  Replies (11) Good night (684) Bad night (2197)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.

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  (703): I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING. http://tfl.nu/0loh
  Replies (3) Good night (1130) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single

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  (719): It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single http://tfl.nu/v0bh
  Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (453)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.

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  (508): If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it. http://tfl.nu/htl7
  Replies (4) Good night (746) Bad night (300)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.

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  (415): I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids. http://tfl.nu/608j
  Replies (2) Good night (790) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead

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  (208): how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead http://tfl.nu/so8m
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (256)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?

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  (630): There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem? http://tfl.nu/s4pi
  Replies (2) Good night (400) Bad night (191)

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